By CATcash advance

What Happened to You?

by Valerie on Friday, November 1, 2013

I’m not finished.


Miss Pacificana 2012

by Valerie on Wednesday, December 19, 2012

This one night we are all hanging in my living room. I tell her she would be the perfect contestant on RuPaul’s Drag Race because Reena asks the most original questions.

She says, “If you ever get preggars, can I be your kid’s ninona?”

I say, “What’s a ninona?”

“A nino and a nina,” she says.

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And the readings — just listen to what she has to say if I fail to show up to her last invite.

“Did you bring the aloe vera?”

“Aloe vera?” I’m confused. “For what?”

She gives me a sharp stare and says, “for my 3rd degree burns.”

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It’s ok, booboo. You’re still a winner in my heart.


Say Wut?

by Valerie on Thursday, July 19, 2012

According to Wu-Tang’s name generator, from this day forward I will also be known as Sarkastik Worlock.

It’s an ironic nickname, okay.


Sukiyaki

by Valerie on Tuesday, May 1, 2012

“The way to remember how to say ‘you’re welcome’ in Japanese” Kaoru san says, “is ‘don’t touch my moustache.’” After Hope admits she’s taken to Asian men, Kaoru san says, “you riiiike tofuuu?” She says to me, “we are soul mates,” and I believe every word.

We are talking about boys and, “how obvious is that guy from security? He keeps passing by your counter. You know that guy is checking you out?”

“What guy? It’s his job to make rounds,” I say

“That’s what I thought, but you were on one side and he was staring at you while you were helping the customers and then you went to the other side, I dunno, I think to get the merchandise or something and he went out of his way to get to the other side too. And then you went back, and he went back too.”

“Who is this guy? Do I know him?”

“He’s a handsome guy, tall, kinda dark complexion.”

“You mean the guy with the huge Hispanic butt?”

Kaoru san says she was married for 20 years, but now they are separated because you can’t domesticate a Latino. I ask her what’s her type of guy and is she looking for someone new? She says, no she’s not looking. “I’m too old to start over again.”

I say, “you’re never too old for love. I guess it’s just a matter of finding it.”

She talks of her dog, “my Hanachan, gives me enough love… But I like an intelligent man. Maybe one with a heart of gold.”

I tell her, “oh, that sounds like just my type, too,” and think about playing something from Neil Young.

I’m changing the c.d. for our counter music. I ask her does she prefer to listen to anything else in particular and she says, “anything is fine with me, except rap… I don’t really care much for rap.”

I say, “not all rap is bad, yea know. Like Outkast is pretty alright.”

And Kaoru san, this kind little Japanese lady says in the tiniest most agreeable tone of voice, “oh yeah, some is okay… I just don’t like the one’s that are like, ‘da booteh’ and ‘da bitches.’”

“word.”


Theme Day: Chen Man

by Valerie on Monday, April 9, 2012

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Spring has sprung and newness is trickling in.

special packaging
The collection, a collaboration between MAC and Chinese fashion photographer Chen Man, was inspired by love and water — two things essential to life. The not-so-essential: pretty packaging.

love and water
Mineralize duo eyeshadows were baked to form the yin and yang symbol — a neat detail. But I swear by Force of Love lipstick and fluid line gel liner in Waveline.

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I was able to salvage these collars from old uniform blazers. Add little Chinese ball buttons to make it more cohesive to our theme and they are the sex!

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face chart

Also, completely off subject, but over the weekend my mom played this song while riding in her car. She’s so groovy!


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